I started this post with good intentions. I was going to sit down, have some quiet time, and really reflect on what I was thankful for this last week. Jack, on the other hand, had other plans. He decided mama didn't need quiet time today but instead needed to give him her full attention.
I put him down for a nap, turned on his music and waited the usual ten minutes it takes for him to sing himself to sleep. The ten minutes turned into almost an hour of on and off whining and crying. I thought maybe he would tire himself out and that I could just tune him out (which never works-I still haven't mastered the whole letting him cry it out thing, I end up feeling guilty and we both just end up grumpier than before ;) I finally gave in and got him out of his crib. He instantly stopped crying (per usual) and I swear he hugged me-I mean, arms wrapped around my neck, head on my shoulder kind of a hug-he needed me, and I knew right then and there what I was most thankful for.
The hard days. The regular old day to day routine that often times leaves me feeling like I have no life. The crying, the snotty nose, the messes that seem to never go away no matter how much time I spend cleaning and picking up. These kinds of days are what make me a mom. Without them, I would not know what it means to truly love my child unconditionally. To not only love him when he's being cute and silly and sweet (which he really is 98% of the time) but to also love him through the tears, the whining, and the meltdowns. It's funny how I begged and pleaded for him to sleep so I could have some alone time, but the second he was down, I missed him.
He's my buddy, my partner in crime, and the best decision I ever made. I know these days will get harder the older he gets, but I also am confident in the fact that I will never, no matter what, stop loving him. He is mine and I am his and that will never change. I thank God every day for the opportunity to be his mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Today, I am thankful for him. So so thankful.